tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1665619563748706349.post1424100825586114552..comments2023-10-07T07:44:17.892-07:00Comments on The New Englander: The Three Things I've Been WonderingThe New Englanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06201310505648616855noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1665619563748706349.post-57114501240072650122013-08-08T03:58:33.211-07:002013-08-08T03:58:33.211-07:00Then there is the question of if it is "self&...Then there is the question of if it is "self" we are supposed to be getting rid of, pealing it away. Sort of a Watchman Nee view of the soul and sanctification.<br /><br />Regards — C R Kriegerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10563658418464959198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1665619563748706349.post-44964692536242602632013-07-29T06:35:24.805-07:002013-07-29T06:35:24.805-07:00'Who you callin' a crook': Defensivene...'Who you callin' a crook': Defensiveness and the Self<br /><br />Self is like a conductor of an orchestra helping parts within us function more harmoniously resulting in a symphony rather than a cacophony. When one or more of our parts overwhelms our Self, defensiveness may be one of the responses burdening us.<br /> Madam Defensiveness is a close cousin of Mr. Stonewall, Mrs. Contempt, and Brother Criticism. When one is defensive, she/he is blaming another; “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.” Nobody wins. When a person tunes out (dissociates), stonewalling shows up. Nobody wins. When contemptuousness is present, it is poisonous to relationships because it conveys disgust with the other person, not the person’s behavior. It leads to more conflict rather than reconciliation. Nobody wins. There’s a difference between a complaint and criticism. A complaint is about a specific action; a criticism is more global—it adds on some negative words about another’s character or personality. Nobody wins.<br /> When your parts (your shadow sides, as in Carl Jung) are leading, you may have one of the following: defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt, or criticism i.e. character assassination. Conflating a 1940s radio show with Carl Jung. “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.” <br /> When your Self is present so is clarity (or wisdom), calmness, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity and connectedness. Connection with our Self is important: it is natural and universal and, unlike our burdened parts, it has no hidden agenda.<br />Daniel Patrick Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02778211641175352857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1665619563748706349.post-64714649003075223652013-07-29T06:32:07.912-07:002013-07-29T06:32:07.912-07:00'Who you callin' a crook': Defensivene...<br />'Who you callin' a crook': Defensiveness and the Self<br /><br />Self is like a conductor of an orchestra helping parts within us function more harmoniously resulting in a symphony rather than a cacophony. When one or more of our parts overwhelms our Self, defensiveness may be one of the responses burdening us.<br /> Madam Defensiveness is a close cousin of Mr. Stonewall, Mrs. Contempt, and Brother Criticism. When one is defensive, she/he is blaming another; “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.” Nobody wins. When a person tunes out (dissociates), stonewalling shows up. Nobody wins. When contemptuousness is present, it is poisonous to relationships because it conveys disgust with the other person, not the person’s behavior. It leads to more conflict rather than reconciliation. Nobody wins. There’s a difference between a complaint and criticism. A complaint is about a specific action; a criticism is more global—it adds on some negative words about another’s character or personality. Nobody wins.<br /> When your parts (your shadow sides, as in Carl Jung) are leading, you may have one of the following: defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt, or criticism i.e. character assassination. Conflating a 1940s radio show with Carl Jung. “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.” <br /> When your Self is present so is clarity (or wisdom), calmness, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity and connectedness. Connection with our Self is important: it is natural and universal and, unlike our burdened parts, it has no hidden agenda.<br /><br />Daniel Patrick Murphy<br />Daniel Patrick Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02778211641175352857noreply@blogger.com