Quick trivia question: What is the only country in the world that's home to both a US military base and a Russian military base?
Answer: It's Kyrgyzstan.
I happen to be at one of them right now (the Air Transit Center at Manas) just outside of the Bishkek airport.
What that means, of course, is that I'm NOT in Afghanistan. And yes, that's a great sign. The combination of endless days stacked one on top of the next, and the fact that blogspot was blocked from our computer servers at Camp Phoenix, meant that my blog posts were few and far between. Within a couple days, I'll be at Fort Dix (and unfortunately, stuck there for the Super Bowl), and should be able to hold the missus and our daughter in my arms in just over a week. Awesome, eh?
Of course, I have no idea where to start or stop when thinking about the past year, but one thing hasn't changed since I last posted: The single strongest feeling I have coming home is that I need to make up for lost time.
For the past 12 months, I put aside everything else that I might want to do (i.e. leisure reading, PT, staying in touch with friends/colleagues) and focused entirely on the unit and our mission. Trust me, that's not a complaint or a lament -- I wouldn't have done it any other way, and I *get* that all of that is part of the deal I entered into with Uncle Sam -- but it's just a statement of fact.
That type of self-surrender to the environment is not necessarily true of all soldiers who enter war zones...but before I get too high and mighty, I'd have to point out that my version of "hardcore REMF" or "badass FOBbit" isn't really comparable to the guys who are out closing and engaging with the enemy every day in places like Kunar and Helmand. Still, it's a sacrifice that I didn't fully understand a year ago when all this started at Reading High School. The way I see it all now, though, helps explain why I'm going to be a lot more visibly emotional when I get back to Reading next week than I was on "goodbye day."
Besides the obvious feeling of physical relocation away from the *zone* one of the biggest changes in Bishkek, compared to Kabul, is that it's much easier to breathe the air here. Much like a loud buzzing sound that you don't really notice until it goes away (and you notice as you revel in its absence) the air in Kabul is of pretty awful quality, owing to pollution, topography that means a bowl of exhaust surrounded by mountains, the burning of coal and wood in the winter, and thermal inversion which traps the nasty air.
At Manas, I can take a full, deep breath and it seems like I can feel the cleanliness of the air. The novelty hasn't worn off, and I don't think it will.
The other great feeling now is that I can PT as much as I want. I know this may surprise a lot of people, but periods of formal military training or work (i.e. mobilization and deployment) tend to leave me in worse shape than they found me. Now that we're just in wind-down mode, and have tons of free time, or *white space* on the calendar (as we will at Dix, too) it's a PT bonanza for yours truly.
And what makes it all possible are these wonderful Air Force facilities! I know Kyrgyz politics -- and Russian influence -- might mean Manas might not be around forever, but as far as places to be stuck for a couple days, this place ain't bad...they've got all the basic amenities here, such as the MWR (Morale, Welfare, and Recreation) computer on which I'm typing this.
Looking forward to posting again from the states very soon, and in the meantime, just sort of hanging out and working out between meals isn't such a bad way to pass the time before I can "rejoin the world."
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Lost Time
Well, I finally found that semi-quiet night here (thanks, Mother Nature) and a chance to grab some of that wonderful Camp Phoenix chow hall wi-fi to put a few thoughts down.
I could/would blog more -- much more, in fact -- but the high-speed Internet we have in our TOC (Tactical Operations Center) says no to blogspot. The funny thing is, Facebook, Yahoo mail, and Gmail are all somehow okay. I can access richardhowe.com but somehow nothing else that's on Wordpress. There's a crappy public wi-fi access spot on the base, but it seriously took me about a half-hour just to get to where I could type...and the connection keeps coming in and out, but thankfully blogger will automatically save any drafts I have.
The other limiting factor is time. The 16+ hour days are just sort of stacked endlessly on top of one another, and the demands placed on our intel section are constant and endless.
The good news, though, is that this will be all over in not *that* long. The first wave of new guys (Advance Echelon, or ADVON) is already here, and the rest of the crew will be here in two weeks or less. After moving through Manas Kyrgyzstan to Fort Dix to Reading, MA I should be home in early to mid-FEB.
Thankfully, I haven't heard a single shot fired in anger or felt the *pucker factor* of combat in the entire ten months I've been here. So coming home I'm not dealing with PTSD, or the after-effects of violence, related nightmares, or anything like that. The strongest single feeling that I have though, is the need to recapture lost time.
By that, I sort of mean everything. First and foremost, it's the time that I haven't spent with my wife and daughter, who I tend to think about more and more the closer I get to the big C-17 ride. That would apply no matter what I had been doing over here. After that, there's also the personal time that just doesn't exist here in this position. Don't get me wrong -- there are many jobs here that, based on duty MOS or paygrade, require only a fraction of the hours that mine does (say, someone who works in the Finance Office or in Admin). Then there are others that require long hours but are essentially just downtime punctuated by short periods of work (say, a radio operator in the TOC, esp. on the overnights). There are others still that require physical labor and occasional long days but come with lots of in-between time (say, a crew member on an MRAP movement team that ferries people around Kabul).
Either way, what I'm looking forward to most is seeing and spending time with Ratriey and Lily. Next to that, though, is just having a bit of personal time to do just about anything...whether it's walking along the canals, whether it's reading the Sunday Globe in bed or on the couch, or it's going to dinner with Ratriey and her mom and not feeling constantly rushed, it's going to feel dream-like for the first few weeks. Third, I would say, is what I'd call re-joining the world. Without even getting into an assessment of what I've done here, or who I think it's helped (or hasn't), where it's been relevant to the overall mission (or not), there's a big disconnect between what I work on here and anything that I will do, or want to do, back home. Rejoining the world is sort of how I envision catching up with friends, getting back into the groove with groups (i.e. LDNA, VFW, Global Vets, reading group, etc.), and getting on track with professional networking type of things.
Eventually, everything will sort of just become normal again, and I sincerely hope never to be mobilized for a twelve-month clip ever, ever again. (I am trying to angle my way into a unit at Devens that directly supports CENTCOM, and tends to do shorter tours when called up).
But for the first few weeks or months back in the states, if it seems like I'm still *on a mission* -- and maybe even obsessively so -- it's probably because I am. And the mission is to take advantage of every nanosecond that I can spend immersed in my reallife.
In the meantime, that time thing is nagging at me again. Just taking the time to write this means a delay in the reports that are due in the morning, which means being here until nearly noon, and with convoy duty in the mid-afternoon, it means another night of, well, you get the idea. More of the bleary eye stuff.
With that said, I have no plans to blog again until at least Manas, if not Fort Dix or even good 'ol Lowell come February. When I do, I'm looking forward to doing some local traveling (a modified 351 club is the goal), and taking the blog in a more interview-y type direction.
In the meantime, thanks for reading this far, and I greatly look forward to catching up with you next month...and when we get the chance, I hope we can both take at least a brief moment of quiet, or reflection, or maybe just laughter that goes on for that extra second or two to appreciate the time afforded to us to be able to do it.
I could/would blog more -- much more, in fact -- but the high-speed Internet we have in our TOC (Tactical Operations Center) says no to blogspot. The funny thing is, Facebook, Yahoo mail, and Gmail are all somehow okay. I can access richardhowe.com but somehow nothing else that's on Wordpress. There's a crappy public wi-fi access spot on the base, but it seriously took me about a half-hour just to get to where I could type...and the connection keeps coming in and out, but thankfully blogger will automatically save any drafts I have.
The other limiting factor is time. The 16+ hour days are just sort of stacked endlessly on top of one another, and the demands placed on our intel section are constant and endless.
The good news, though, is that this will be all over in not *that* long. The first wave of new guys (Advance Echelon, or ADVON) is already here, and the rest of the crew will be here in two weeks or less. After moving through Manas Kyrgyzstan to Fort Dix to Reading, MA I should be home in early to mid-FEB.
Thankfully, I haven't heard a single shot fired in anger or felt the *pucker factor* of combat in the entire ten months I've been here. So coming home I'm not dealing with PTSD, or the after-effects of violence, related nightmares, or anything like that. The strongest single feeling that I have though, is the need to recapture lost time.
By that, I sort of mean everything. First and foremost, it's the time that I haven't spent with my wife and daughter, who I tend to think about more and more the closer I get to the big C-17 ride. That would apply no matter what I had been doing over here. After that, there's also the personal time that just doesn't exist here in this position. Don't get me wrong -- there are many jobs here that, based on duty MOS or paygrade, require only a fraction of the hours that mine does (say, someone who works in the Finance Office or in Admin). Then there are others that require long hours but are essentially just downtime punctuated by short periods of work (say, a radio operator in the TOC, esp. on the overnights). There are others still that require physical labor and occasional long days but come with lots of in-between time (say, a crew member on an MRAP movement team that ferries people around Kabul).
Either way, what I'm looking forward to most is seeing and spending time with Ratriey and Lily. Next to that, though, is just having a bit of personal time to do just about anything...whether it's walking along the canals, whether it's reading the Sunday Globe in bed or on the couch, or it's going to dinner with Ratriey and her mom and not feeling constantly rushed, it's going to feel dream-like for the first few weeks. Third, I would say, is what I'd call re-joining the world. Without even getting into an assessment of what I've done here, or who I think it's helped (or hasn't), where it's been relevant to the overall mission (or not), there's a big disconnect between what I work on here and anything that I will do, or want to do, back home. Rejoining the world is sort of how I envision catching up with friends, getting back into the groove with groups (i.e. LDNA, VFW, Global Vets, reading group, etc.), and getting on track with professional networking type of things.
Eventually, everything will sort of just become normal again, and I sincerely hope never to be mobilized for a twelve-month clip ever, ever again. (I am trying to angle my way into a unit at Devens that directly supports CENTCOM, and tends to do shorter tours when called up).
But for the first few weeks or months back in the states, if it seems like I'm still *on a mission* -- and maybe even obsessively so -- it's probably because I am. And the mission is to take advantage of every nanosecond that I can spend immersed in my reallife.
In the meantime, that time thing is nagging at me again. Just taking the time to write this means a delay in the reports that are due in the morning, which means being here until nearly noon, and with convoy duty in the mid-afternoon, it means another night of, well, you get the idea. More of the bleary eye stuff.
With that said, I have no plans to blog again until at least Manas, if not Fort Dix or even good 'ol Lowell come February. When I do, I'm looking forward to doing some local traveling (a modified 351 club is the goal), and taking the blog in a more interview-y type direction.
In the meantime, thanks for reading this far, and I greatly look forward to catching up with you next month...and when we get the chance, I hope we can both take at least a brief moment of quiet, or reflection, or maybe just laughter that goes on for that extra second or two to appreciate the time afforded to us to be able to do it.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Radio Silence
I didn't realized how long it had been, but for a while there I know I went "radio silent," or as the Comms guys say, "RF Cold" here on the site. Only when three separate friends e-mailed me on three straight days last week to check up did I realize it had been almost a month since I'd posted. The very GOOD news I have to report is that things are steady-state over here.
All that really happened was that when I got back from the quick trip home in September, my boss was on R and R. Which meant I was the boss, which meant the endless days and other staff shenanigans. And then as soon as HE got back, our lead NCO went on R and R. Which meant I picked up a lof what he'd been doing, plus my lane in the proverbial road. If blogspot weren't blocked from the computers on our network, I could probably find the 15-20 minutes to write almost every day, but all the *fun* sites are a No-Go. So it goes.
Thankfully the wireless connection near our chow hall is actually working right now, which is enabling me to write.
I would say things definitely *suck* here, but just as quickly as I'd say that, I would qualify it for a mostly non-military audience by saying they don't suck in the way someone in Kunar or Khost Province is dealing with the *suck* of dodging frequent rocket fire from Pakistan, or the way someone in Helmand is doing daily foot patrols and worried about IEDs in the ground.
Perhaps ironically, you might be in more physical danger if you're taking 128 every day (esp. that godawful interchange onto Rte 3 that forces you to cut across multiple lanes while the people coming onto 128 are trying to get across you to do the opposite), but the special feature of the American military staff is the go-go-go all-the-time mentality (and the one really cool thing about being here is that I've gotten to see how lots of foreign militaries operate, and they aren't all like that!)
So anyway, with a nod somewhere in Tolstoy's direction, I would say that every less-than-ideal deployment scenario sucks in its own unique sort of way.
And on the bright side, we all noticed the snowcaps up in the Hindu Kush foothills around the base today. Seeing the snow up there, and feeling the first few cold snaps of the season, is a great reminder that February might not be all that far away.
All that really happened was that when I got back from the quick trip home in September, my boss was on R and R. Which meant I was the boss, which meant the endless days and other staff shenanigans. And then as soon as HE got back, our lead NCO went on R and R. Which meant I picked up a lof what he'd been doing, plus my lane in the proverbial road. If blogspot weren't blocked from the computers on our network, I could probably find the 15-20 minutes to write almost every day, but all the *fun* sites are a No-Go. So it goes.
Thankfully the wireless connection near our chow hall is actually working right now, which is enabling me to write.
I would say things definitely *suck* here, but just as quickly as I'd say that, I would qualify it for a mostly non-military audience by saying they don't suck in the way someone in Kunar or Khost Province is dealing with the *suck* of dodging frequent rocket fire from Pakistan, or the way someone in Helmand is doing daily foot patrols and worried about IEDs in the ground.
Perhaps ironically, you might be in more physical danger if you're taking 128 every day (esp. that godawful interchange onto Rte 3 that forces you to cut across multiple lanes while the people coming onto 128 are trying to get across you to do the opposite), but the special feature of the American military staff is the go-go-go all-the-time mentality (and the one really cool thing about being here is that I've gotten to see how lots of foreign militaries operate, and they aren't all like that!)
So anyway, with a nod somewhere in Tolstoy's direction, I would say that every less-than-ideal deployment scenario sucks in its own unique sort of way.
And on the bright side, we all noticed the snowcaps up in the Hindu Kush foothills around the base today. Seeing the snow up there, and feeling the first few cold snaps of the season, is a great reminder that February might not be all that far away.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Graffiti Worth Reading
When I was passing through Bagram Airfield, and I mentioned something particularly witty I had read scrawled on the wall of the Porta-John near the Green Beans and PX, a Sergeant there told me that he can always get a sense of a unit's mood by reading the graffiti in the latrines.
It may be a slight bit counterintuitive, but a good healthy back and forth of vulgarity and profanity (where the scrawls are interactive)is the best thing to spot. Complaints are okay, and actually even good sometimes because they show that soldiers are engaged.
The Sergeant (who is now on his second full-year deployment to Afghanistan and who has already deployed to Iraq) said he only begins to worry when things get really quiet, which shows disengagement.
Since coming back to the unit just over a week ago, I've noticed a sharp uptick in things like intra-staff arguments, clipped phrases, and f-bombs dropped in anger. While in some ways that's a *good* thing (as I always like to say, show me someone who's upset and I'll show you someone who cares), I think it also speaks to us being in the *doldrums* of the seventh month of a deployment, where we've been scorpions in a bottle long enough to get on each other's nerves, but it's still too soon to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
The tension makes things a bit crazy at times, but I'm applying what the guy at Bagram said about graffiti to the overall staff climate here -- I won't worry about the guy ranting in the TOC who substitutes "f***ing" for the first names and/or ranks of his NCOs and Officers, but instead I'll look out for the soldier who seems like he's becoming disengaged and shutting off the world around him.
It may be a slight bit counterintuitive, but a good healthy back and forth of vulgarity and profanity (where the scrawls are interactive)is the best thing to spot. Complaints are okay, and actually even good sometimes because they show that soldiers are engaged.
The Sergeant (who is now on his second full-year deployment to Afghanistan and who has already deployed to Iraq) said he only begins to worry when things get really quiet, which shows disengagement.
Since coming back to the unit just over a week ago, I've noticed a sharp uptick in things like intra-staff arguments, clipped phrases, and f-bombs dropped in anger. While in some ways that's a *good* thing (as I always like to say, show me someone who's upset and I'll show you someone who cares), I think it also speaks to us being in the *doldrums* of the seventh month of a deployment, where we've been scorpions in a bottle long enough to get on each other's nerves, but it's still too soon to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
The tension makes things a bit crazy at times, but I'm applying what the guy at Bagram said about graffiti to the overall staff climate here -- I won't worry about the guy ranting in the TOC who substitutes "f***ing" for the first names and/or ranks of his NCOs and Officers, but instead I'll look out for the soldier who seems like he's becoming disengaged and shutting off the world around him.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
A Dissenting View from Kabul
Earlier this week, a group of well-armed insurgents forced their way into a vacant building which was under construction, and used it as a platform to shoot rocket-propelled grenades towards the Embassy, the NATO headquarters, and other Afghan and international military and government targets.
The attack was quashed mostly by ANSF (Afghan National Security Forces) with some help from US advisors, several of whom wear our unit's "Yankee Division" patch.
A lot of the initial reaction in the western and local media was that the attack raises doubts about ANSF's ability to establish order and protect its people.
Here's why I disagree: If you could put together ANY group of a dozen or so folks with AK-47s and RPG launchers, how hard do you think it would be to get them into a public place where they could cause mayhem and havoc? Pick any American city, and it doesn't matter -- there's no security net that's going to stop a small group of well-armed people intent on causing harm from achieving that goal.
Eventually, that small group will be overwhelmed by the superior firepower of the local response force (police, SWAT, gendarmerie, etc.) And that's exactly what happened here.
Yes, it took awhile to finish the *clearing* process, but again, think back to hostage standoff situations and other such incidents in the States. Even with some of the best-trained and best-equipped constabulary forces, that stuff is never easy.
I wasn't downtown on Tuesday and I didn't hear any of the small arms rounds or the RPG impacts. But I was close enough to the nerve center of what was going on to say that the entire episode said more to me about the capabilities of ANSF than it did those of the insurgents.
The attack was quashed mostly by ANSF (Afghan National Security Forces) with some help from US advisors, several of whom wear our unit's "Yankee Division" patch.
A lot of the initial reaction in the western and local media was that the attack raises doubts about ANSF's ability to establish order and protect its people.
Here's why I disagree: If you could put together ANY group of a dozen or so folks with AK-47s and RPG launchers, how hard do you think it would be to get them into a public place where they could cause mayhem and havoc? Pick any American city, and it doesn't matter -- there's no security net that's going to stop a small group of well-armed people intent on causing harm from achieving that goal.
Eventually, that small group will be overwhelmed by the superior firepower of the local response force (police, SWAT, gendarmerie, etc.) And that's exactly what happened here.
Yes, it took awhile to finish the *clearing* process, but again, think back to hostage standoff situations and other such incidents in the States. Even with some of the best-trained and best-equipped constabulary forces, that stuff is never easy.
I wasn't downtown on Tuesday and I didn't hear any of the small arms rounds or the RPG impacts. But I was close enough to the nerve center of what was going on to say that the entire episode said more to me about the capabilities of ANSF than it did those of the insurgents.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The Route That I Took
So, I'm all the way back at the same little Internet terminal place in Kuwait where I last updated the blog. I'm getting ready to head back to the 'Stan tomorrow (neat way to commemorate the 10th anniversary of 9/11, eh?)
Everything went well on the 7th at MEEI, and the best part was that at the end, the doc said, "Everything looks great, and I don't need to see you again for 3-4 months." Well, if we're taking a sort of loose definition of that timeframe (like if we checked September off, and then skipped four months ahead) I would be back in the States. To stay.
Which is awesome. No more special anything, no more byzantine travel routes through airports, changes of clothes, and no more awkward explanations (both there or here) about why I'm *not really* home and dealing with people who don't know what they're saying spout off about they wish they had "whatever it is" that got me the extra trip back home.
Once again, I vow to try and write more, and photograph more. Buying a camera might be a wise next step, and I think I can knock that out here in Kuwait.
Although coming home for what wound up as nearly a week was phenomenal in many respects, the strongest feeling I had on the way back to Logan Friday morning was just eagerness to "get this show on the road." Just as it is now, my overriding feeling was wanting to get back to Camp Phoenix and back into the routine for the homestretch of the deployment.
What's VERY different this time, as opposed to OIF in 2006 and 2007, is the conflicting feelings about what's left behind. Besides the obvious and most important (wife and daughter) there's also the issue of having other professional ideas and opportunities on the plate...on active duty, of course, that was never an issue.
Regardless, it's all mind over matter for the next few months -- the conflicting feelings about being gone can get tucked away and stored in some corner of the brain where they won't be needed for a while. The trick is just immersing myself as completely as possible in the moment of whatever it is I'm doing, and then cheering a bit as the calendar gets flipped over every couple of weeks.
Everything went well on the 7th at MEEI, and the best part was that at the end, the doc said, "Everything looks great, and I don't need to see you again for 3-4 months." Well, if we're taking a sort of loose definition of that timeframe (like if we checked September off, and then skipped four months ahead) I would be back in the States. To stay.
Which is awesome. No more special anything, no more byzantine travel routes through airports, changes of clothes, and no more awkward explanations (both there or here) about why I'm *not really* home and dealing with people who don't know what they're saying spout off about they wish they had "whatever it is" that got me the extra trip back home.
Once again, I vow to try and write more, and photograph more. Buying a camera might be a wise next step, and I think I can knock that out here in Kuwait.
Although coming home for what wound up as nearly a week was phenomenal in many respects, the strongest feeling I had on the way back to Logan Friday morning was just eagerness to "get this show on the road." Just as it is now, my overriding feeling was wanting to get back to Camp Phoenix and back into the routine for the homestretch of the deployment.
What's VERY different this time, as opposed to OIF in 2006 and 2007, is the conflicting feelings about what's left behind. Besides the obvious and most important (wife and daughter) there's also the issue of having other professional ideas and opportunities on the plate...on active duty, of course, that was never an issue.
Regardless, it's all mind over matter for the next few months -- the conflicting feelings about being gone can get tucked away and stored in some corner of the brain where they won't be needed for a while. The trick is just immersing myself as completely as possible in the moment of whatever it is I'm doing, and then cheering a bit as the calendar gets flipped over every couple of weeks.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
A Pretty Sad Excuse
I'm not sure if some witty neologist has already come up with a word for this phenomenon, but there oughta be at least a five-yard-and-repeat-of-down yellow flag that concerned citizens should be able to throw down somewhere when they see badly forced acronyms, i.e. where it's clear that the word was chosen first, or at least most of the way first, and then the terms thrown in to the point that they only *sort of* make sense.
I'm sitting at a computer terminal at Ali Al-Salem (it's either an Air Force or Army base in Kuwait) and the poster above the computer says, "SHARP: Sexual Harassment Assault Response Prevention." For the record, there's no ampersand thrown in between the words 'response' and 'prevention' that would actually tie the whole thing together and make it make sense.
Whether someone just really liked the word 'SHARP' or they saw it coming together when the S, H, A, unfolded in sequence, what they're literally promoting there is the "Response Prevention."
I don't mean to make light of something that is actually a serious matter within the military, but I'm trying to imagine some very "empowered" organization focusing on "response prevention" and I can't help it.
I'm sitting at a computer terminal at Ali Al-Salem (it's either an Air Force or Army base in Kuwait) and the poster above the computer says, "SHARP: Sexual Harassment Assault Response Prevention." For the record, there's no ampersand thrown in between the words 'response' and 'prevention' that would actually tie the whole thing together and make it make sense.
Whether someone just really liked the word 'SHARP' or they saw it coming together when the S, H, A, unfolded in sequence, what they're literally promoting there is the "Response Prevention."
I don't mean to make light of something that is actually a serious matter within the military, but I'm trying to imagine some very "empowered" organization focusing on "response prevention" and I can't help it.
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