Thursday, June 13, 2013

The 'Resting Face' Thing

This video is obviously filed under "Humor/Spoof" but if you read the comments below the video in YouTube, you will see a lot of people describing how much it sucks to have an expression that gets misinterpreted.

After being asked for the gazillionth-millionth time "What's wrong?" or "Who just killed your dog?" I learned as a kid to always make sure I had something to read in my hands (If I had come of age in the smartphone era, it may never have been a problem), because then I could simultaneously get lost in my own thoughts without having to get the annoying question-interruptions.

And one more serious point of advice in the realm of social skills -- if ANYONE in your life suffers from the "BRF" referred to in this video, don't ever-ever-ever start a conversation with a "What's wrong?" or even an "Is everything okay?"  That's a very-very-very tone deaf way to come at a person.

Instead, try something completely neutral, i.e. 'Hey, what's up,' or 'I'm putting a pot of coffee on...want any?'  Whether the person was just lost in thought, or whether something really was wrong, can be calibrated based on that answer.

And if you don't understand why 'neutral' always beats 'aggressive' as an opener, then I just can't help you.  If you suffer from BRF (or its male equivalent), I'm with ya.

Hat tip to Paul Hogue for the post to Facebook.  

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