Before I get going with a morning-long cold call marathon, there are three things I noticed this week that didn't quite look/seem/feel/smell right. Here goes:
a) Why should a city government have ANY business poking around in the corporate governance affairs/decisions of a private Board of Directors?
It shouldn't, of course. This has already been said and explained far more eloquently, by Chris Hazel on a Facebook thread and by Jack Mitchell on a GN comment thread. As Chris said, the Cupertino City Council doesn't admonish Apple because of its Board's decisions about who should be CEO.
Whether someone is a "stand-up guy" or an all-around good citizen is completely beside the point.
b) Who on Earth thinks that a music festival during Folk Festival weekend detracts FROM, rather than adds TO, the overall LFF experience?
Only a petty micro-king of a micro-bureaucracy, that's who. My first thought was "this makes no sense," and then when I saw a Kad Barma post this week explaining it from the perspective of someone with first-hand knowledge of the Uptown event, my initial instinctual response was confirmed. Someone should be THANKING Steve Perez.
c) Who gets defensive about the pay-for-play discussion, and why?
I'm pretty careful about when and how I use the word 'defensive' because I know it's a favorite tool of the 'Heads-I-Win-Tails-You-Lose' crowd, for whom I have very little intellectual respect. However, much like other words I dislike (i.e. 'sorry' and 'deserve') I will break it out when needed. Someone who throws out a 'Who you callin' a crook' when NO ONE has been called a crook is being defensive.
When the SEC makes rules that demand complete disclosure to investors, it's not because they're calling ME a crook. It's because they think the system would be better designed with those rules in place. Seewhuddimsayin?
When the SEC makes rules that demand complete disclosure to investors, it's not because they're calling ME a crook. It's because they think the system would be better designed with those rules in place. Seewhuddimsayin?
ReplyDelete'Who you callin' a crook': Defensiveness and the Self
Self is like a conductor of an orchestra helping parts within us function more harmoniously resulting in a symphony rather than a cacophony. When one or more of our parts overwhelms our Self, defensiveness may be one of the responses burdening us.
Madam Defensiveness is a close cousin of Mr. Stonewall, Mrs. Contempt, and Brother Criticism. When one is defensive, she/he is blaming another; “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.” Nobody wins. When a person tunes out (dissociates), stonewalling shows up. Nobody wins. When contemptuousness is present, it is poisonous to relationships because it conveys disgust with the other person, not the person’s behavior. It leads to more conflict rather than reconciliation. Nobody wins. There’s a difference between a complaint and criticism. A complaint is about a specific action; a criticism is more global—it adds on some negative words about another’s character or personality. Nobody wins.
When your parts (your shadow sides, as in Carl Jung) are leading, you may have one of the following: defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt, or criticism i.e. character assassination. Conflating a 1940s radio show with Carl Jung. “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.”
When your Self is present so is clarity (or wisdom), calmness, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity and connectedness. Connection with our Self is important: it is natural and universal and, unlike our burdened parts, it has no hidden agenda.
Daniel Patrick Murphy
'Who you callin' a crook': Defensiveness and the Self
ReplyDeleteSelf is like a conductor of an orchestra helping parts within us function more harmoniously resulting in a symphony rather than a cacophony. When one or more of our parts overwhelms our Self, defensiveness may be one of the responses burdening us.
Madam Defensiveness is a close cousin of Mr. Stonewall, Mrs. Contempt, and Brother Criticism. When one is defensive, she/he is blaming another; “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.” Nobody wins. When a person tunes out (dissociates), stonewalling shows up. Nobody wins. When contemptuousness is present, it is poisonous to relationships because it conveys disgust with the other person, not the person’s behavior. It leads to more conflict rather than reconciliation. Nobody wins. There’s a difference between a complaint and criticism. A complaint is about a specific action; a criticism is more global—it adds on some negative words about another’s character or personality. Nobody wins.
When your parts (your shadow sides, as in Carl Jung) are leading, you may have one of the following: defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt, or criticism i.e. character assassination. Conflating a 1940s radio show with Carl Jung. “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.”
When your Self is present so is clarity (or wisdom), calmness, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity and connectedness. Connection with our Self is important: it is natural and universal and, unlike our burdened parts, it has no hidden agenda.
Then there is the question of if it is "self" we are supposed to be getting rid of, pealing it away. Sort of a Watchman Nee view of the soul and sanctification.
ReplyDeleteRegards —